Hi! I’m Taylor. Right now I’m devastated! My best friend passed out last week, and I don’t know how to handle it. I’ve never had many friends. My parents tell me it’s my fault. “You aren’t getting any friends with that grumpy face of yours. It’s all about attitude”. Lovely parents, huh? For me, making friends never has been a priority. Of course I have some, yet not close ones. All I cared about was my future as an artist. My passion is drawing! Though not any kind of drawing… I love to do comic strips. It’s not only the illustrations, it’s the full package; the stories, the typography, everything.
I started when I was barely 8 years old. Ever since then, I dedicated my full time making more and more comics to create a good portfolio. Even though I’m only a junior, I sincerely expected to be hired in a cool site or magazine before I graduate; and later to produce my own comic strips.
When I started creating my art, I really thought I was quite good. I believed my future could be very promising. Everyone I showed my stories told me I was talented, so I believed it. I started applying to comics contests, though I never won any. I was ok with it; cause I figured out that it was a matter of time, and that soon would be my time to succeed. I mean, there was A LOT of competition. Most were worldwide contests.
That optimism changed when I applied to a contest in my state and got rejected. It was only for young people in Florida, and I didn’t even got selected as one of the top 5 finalists. My comic strip was freaking awesome! I’m not cocky. I was really proud specifically about this one. I felt embarrassed. All these years thinking I was really talented, it turned out I wasn’t that much. All this time invested for nothing.
My dreams were crushed. I was crushed! I had never been that sad in my entire life. I went to school everyday, and talked to no one, like I used to do pretty much every day I had some time off. Even so, that was different, cause I didn’t talk to people to use my time for drawings. Now, I didn’t even draw. I simply stared blankly, and existed!
My parents were worried. Now they are! They thought I could commit suicide or something. Don’t worry… I’m not capable of it, and never thought of it as an option. I just quit my dreams, and mentally prepared myself to become an accountant. Or something like that. Maybe I could be good at that one!
Dad thought I was overreacting. Mom understood me more. Still, both considered I couldn’t keep up with this pessimist and depressing attitude. They decided to give me something… well someone, to cheer me up. After 4 weeks of my deception, they bought me a hamster. “We thought a pet could cheer you up and make you happier. You need a friend, Taylor”, they said. What on Earth were they thinking? I’ve never asked for a hamster. I thought of them as some kind of rats… and yuk. Also, if I would want a best friend, I would look for a person, not a hamster!
I told them I didn’t want it. They insisted, and said that if I didn’t take care of her, no one else will. She would be homeless. I felt bad. The stupidity of my parents wasn’t the hamster’s fault, so I accepted to take care of him. I named her Saddy. It was my mood.
I was skeptical at the beginning. Then, little by little I started loving the little girl. My parents were right. I was definitely happier and more optimistic all. Saddy did that to me, so I really appreciated her. Even though she was an animal, and probably was never aware of my situation, she really helped me move on. I started to draw my comic strips once again, just not full time. I spent a lot of time playing with her. I even told her about how were my days. She never answered back, hehe. But she listened. We became the best friends. She was with me in my best times, and in my darkest ones.
We had 8 amazing months together. 3 weeks ago, I thought it would get better. All of a sudden, Saddy’s belly started growing. Immediately, I got excited. She was having babies!! Or so I thought… but how was this possible? I had only one hamster.
I asked my parents if we had any rats or mice in our house. I’ve never saw one. I was simply wondering. Their answer was no. I kept asking myself what happened. Does my neighbor’s hamster secretly visited Saddy, and they became a couple? Mmm maybe… though tha would be very, very weird.
Something didn’t fit in. Couple days later, a poisoned bug came through my window. I thought it was harmless, so I didn’t take him out. After messing around in my room, it entered to my hamster’s little home. I tried to take him out, but Saddy ate him first. Then, I realized it was poisonous. I know this because my poor pet died.
I’ve never thought I would get so close to a hamster, but I did. We had such a beautiful relationship. I’ve never been so miserable in my whole life. I know Saddy would want for me to get up and move on. So I’ll try to do just that, but I will never forget her.
I miss you Saddy.
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